Blonde Jokes – Page 1 Page 2
Personal note: I was once a blonde. Feeling that blondes “have more fun”, I decided to change my hair colour and change my life. It worked. Men stopped looking me in the eyes and instead talked to my chest. (Trying to be tasteful here.) And they spoke to me very s-l-o-w-l-y as if they were talking to a child. Being a very mature woman of 19 (so long ago), I decided being blonde was not for me. I became a red-head, but that’s another story. ..ed. Pam
A blind guy walking into a bar and says to the bartender, “Want ta hear a great blonde joke?”
The guy next to him says, “before you tell that joke, you should know, the bartender is a blonde and so is the 100 kilo bouncer. I’m also blond, a wrestler and have a black belt.”
“Are you sure you still want tell that joke?”
The blind guy thinks for a moment and then says, “not if I’ve gotta explain it three times.”
Q: Know how to make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ear. (Torch is a flashlight
to you Yanks.)
The neighbour watched as the blonde next door walked to her mail box, opened it, and then walked back inside angry. A couple of minutes later she came outside and did the same thing.
After watching this happen several times, the neighbour walked over to her and asked what she was doing.
The blonde told him she was checking it because her computer kept saying, “You’ve got mail.”
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.
Q: What do you do if a blond throws a pin at
A: Run. She’s probably got a grenade in her
A blonde phones the hospital and yells, “Send help fast. My sister is in labour” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” The blonde replies, “No, this is her sister.”
A blonde got stuck in the shower. The shampoo bottle instructions said “Lather, Rinse, Repeat”.
Have a Laugh on Us
So sick of hearing blonde jokes, a blonde cut her long hair and dyed it brown.
The next day she drove out into the countryside where she came upon a flock of sheep crossing the road.
Stopping her car to watch the fluffy flock, she called out to the shepherd, “Your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd was taken by the woman’s beauty and said to her, “Yes”.
So the woman said the first number that came into her head which was “436”.
Shocked that she was somehow right, the shepherd said, “That’s right. Yes, you can pick one of my flock.”
After much thought and study of the flock, the woman selected what she thought was the cutest and most playful one to take home with her.
The shepherd turned to the woman and said, “Now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your real hair colour, can I have my dog back?”
A blonde tourist wanted to try out water skiing for the first time. So she rented a pair of water skis and paid for lessons. As she was leaving, she turned and asked the shop owner where the lake with a slope was.
Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what’s on the other side.
Q: Is there such thing as an intelligent blonde?
A: Yes, a Golden Retriever.
And finally …
Q: Do you know what is black and blue and
found in a ditch?
A: A man who told one to many blonde jokes.