Blonde Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the traffic jam in Perth
     that lasted for hours?
A: Imagine 4 blonde tourists in 4 cars at a
     roundabout. Scary.

Q: Why did the blonde tourist cross the road?
A: I don't know and neither does she.
    Perhaps she's looking for the chook.

Q: What do blondes and Tooheys beer bottles
     have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

A blonde tourist walked into Harvey Normans and asked to buy a PM radio. Thinking this must be a new kind of radio overseas, the salesman said, "What does it do?" She replied, "It plays at night. I already have an AM radio for the day."

Q: What's the difference between a smart
     blonde and Tassie tiger?
A: Maybe someday we'll find the tiger.

Did you hear about the parachute invented by a blonde?

It opens on impact. It's the reason there are no sky diving clubs for blondes here.

A blind guy walking into a bar and says to the bartender, "Want ta hear a great blonde joke?"

The guy next to him says, "before you tell that joke, you should know, the bartender is a blonde and so is the 100 kilo bouncer. I'm also blond, a wrestler and have a black belt."

"Are you sure you still want  tell that joke?"

The blind guy thinks for a moment and then says, "not if I've gotta explain it three times."

The neighbour watched as the blonde next door walked to her mail box, opened it, and then walked back inside angry. A couple of minutes later she came outside and did the same thing.

After watching this happen several times, the neighbour walked over to her and asked what she was doing.

The blonde told him she was checking it because her computer kept saying, "You've got mail."

Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what's on the other side.

A blonde tourist wanted to try out water skiing for the first time. So she rented a pair of water skis and paid for lessons. As she was leaving, she turned and asked the shop owner where the lake with a slope was.

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.

Q: What do you do if a blond throws a pin at
     you?
A: Run. She's probably got a grenade in her
     teeth.

Q: Why was the blonde tourist so pleased with
     herself when she finished the jigsaw puzzle
     of the Sydney skyline?
A: It said 3 - 4 years on the box and she
     finished it in 6 months.

Did you hear about the blonde tourist who locked her three friends in her Holden?

She called a locksmith to get them out. He charged her triple the rate because he unlocked 3 doors to get the 3 of them out. Blondes make his day.

Q: Why was the blonde staring at a shelf in
     Woolies?
A: She was buying laundry powder and it said
    concentrate.

Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty milk jug
     in the fridge?
A: Just in case someone wanted black coffee.

Q: Why does a blonde keep a wire coat hanger
     in the back seat of her car?
A: In case she locks her keys in.

Q: What do you call a brunette standing
     between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.

Q: Know how to make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ear. (Torch is a flashlight
     to you Yanks.)

So sick of hearing blonde jokes, a blonde cut her long hair and dyed it brown.

The next day she drove out into the countryside where she came upon a flock of sheep crossing the road.

Stopping her car to watch the fluffy flock, she called out to the shepherd, "Your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd was taken by the woman's beauty and said to her, "Yes".

So the woman said the first number that came into her head which was "436".

Shocked that she was somehow right, the shepherd said, "That's right. Yes, you can pick one of my flock."

After much thought and study of the flock, the woman selected what she thought was the cutest and most playful one to take home with her.

The shepherd turned to the woman and said, "Now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your real hair colour, can I have my dog back?"

Q: Is there such thing as an intelligent blonde?
A: Yes, a Golden Retriever.

And finally ...

Q: Do you know what is black and blue and
     found in a ditch?
A: A man who told one to many blonde jokes.